Meeting Mario (Drunk Scooter Guy)

One of the reasons I wanted to move to Cancun was to learn to kitesurf. The area has lots of wind (except during the summer) and miles of beaches, mostly with onshore or side-onshore conditions. Still, for a beginner, Cancun's beaches are less than ideal, because it's dangerous to launch unless you have a few line lengths (100m+) of empty beach & clear space downwind. That's hard to find here.

Anyway, one day I went to Chac Chi Marina (in the Hotel Zone, at km 3.5) because another blogger had recommended the beach there as a good place for beginner kitesurfers to practice flying a big kite. There are buildings to the West (which is usually downwind) but the beach is often deserted (as you can see from the photo below).



Beach near Marina Chac Chi, looking South

I was quite excited when I arrived, as this was the best place I had found, apart from Wet 'n' Wild, which is much further (about 20 km) from the city center. The marina is nice and, due in part to its lovely pool, the beach is usually fairly empty. Moreover, the property which borders the marina on the west side is an abandoned hotel.


The only other person on the beach that day was a local guy eating some lunch on the beach. His name was Mario, about whom I will write more soon.




A picture of Mario, if he was a cartoon mouse!

   
I got out my kite & started inflating it & Mario asked me about kiting & offered to help me launch the kite. It was perfect, except for one salient fact: Mario was not 100% sober. He was eating sausages & washing them down with "Cabrita Mix": tequila & grapefruit. (I'll post another blog about tequila soon!)


When the kite was inflated, I told Mario what to do. The correct procedure, I explained, is for the assistant to remain stationary, holding the kite (which is like a big wing), while the kiter, holding the control bar, moves until the lines (which connect the kite & bar) are running perpendicular to the wind. When kite is full (with wind running parallel to its struts), the kiter, to avoid confusion, gives a non-verbal signal (like a thumb up) to let go of the kite. At this point the kite is very stable. The kiter only needs to and the kite will rise until it is directly overhead. Simple, right?

Launching a kite

   
Mario certainly seemed to think so. But he didn't seem to grasp the part about the assistant remaining stationary. Every time I moved to reposition the lines, Mario moved with me, effectively un-repositioning them. After a couple of minutes, as I was on the verge of giving up, a young man (Jose Carlos) came running up. He was a local kiteboarder, who pointed out two additional problems. First, the wind was not as strong as the forecast had called for, and second, it had shifted, leaving us in the shadow of the marina's pier and several boats. So I felt like a total moron. But Jose Carlos gave me his phone number & offered to take me to Isla Blanca, where I could learn in, how can I put this... more salubrious surroundings.




Marina Chac Chi, looking SE

   
In kiteboarding terms, the afternoon was a total failure, but Mario suggested that we celebrate by going to a local supermarket (Chedraui), getting some Cabrita Mix, & drinking them (illegally, covertly) in a local park. I agreed (when in Rome...), little realizing that when he offered to drive us back downtown, he was refering to his Vespa scooter.


The ride was more dangerous & more scary than anything I have done on a kiteboard. 
Mario, who had a helmet, explained that it was his girlfriend's; hence the large Hello Kitty stickers with which it was covered. He also noted that Mexico has a helmet law which police actually enforce, though as a tourist I was effectively exempt. I sensed that he envied me and, but for the law, would not have been wearing a helmet either.


Mario was more or less sober at this point and, as it was a short trip (~4 km), I estimated that my odds of survival were at least 90%. Hey, I've got health insurance, I thought, & it beats taking the bus. I hesitantly hopped aboard & off we went. The scooter was carrying, in addition to ~400 lbs of flesh & bone, my backpack (holding a wet, 10 lb kite), a kite pump, & 2 other small bags. As we turned off the marina's dirt driveway, the scooter bottomed out and we nearly crashed. Mario quickly recovered, however, and I was actually happy to have early confirmation of his driving skills & relative sobriety.




Road in the Hotel Zone

   
Many drivers here routinely run red lights and exceed the posted speed limits (~50 mph in much of the hotel zone). Mario, I suspect, is one of them. Needless to say, I was relieved when we arrived at the first of a series of lights just east of Bonampak Ave (downtown) & the late afternoon traffic began backing up at the traffic lights. I was less relieved when Mario seized the chance to save some time & started weaving through the crawling traffic, between buses and taxi cabs. Clearly he was eager to get more Cabrita Mix coursing through his veins.


Only after we had arrived at Chedraui did Mario laugh and ask if I was scared. Not really, I lied. Then he showed me some road rash scars. What happened, I asked. Seems he had an accident on his scooter. He didn't offer many details, because, he explained, he didn't remember much on account of his being blackout drunk at the time. Oh. My. God.


We left Chedraui with 4 cans of Cabrita Mix (cans are considered classy here) & went over to Parque de las Palapas to drink them. Mario suggested driving over. I suggested that he was an idiot. We left the Vespa at Chedraui & walked.

Food court area in Parque de las Palapas